Quotes from "A secure base" by John Bowlby

p50 Re narcissism: "The picture such a person presents is one of assertive independence and emotional self-sufficiency. On no account is he going to be beholden to anyone and, in so far as he enters into relationships at all, he makes sure he retains control. For much of the time he may appear to manage wonderfully well, but there maybe times when he becomes depressed or develops psychosomaic symptoms, often for no reason he knows of. Only should symptoms or a bout of depression become severe is there any possibility of his seeking treatment, and then more likely than not he will prefer drugs to analysts."

p31 separation anxiety: "One fairly common example is when a child has such a close relationship with his mother that he has diffcultly in developing a social life outside the family, a relationship sometimes described as symbiotic. In a majority of such cases the cause of the trouble can be traced to the mother who, having grown up anxiously attached as a result of a difficult childhood, is now seeking to make her own child her attachment figure. So far from the child being over-indulged, as is sometimes asserted, he is being burdened with having to care for his own mother."

p30 separation anxiety: "Thus, just as animals of many species, including man, are disposed to respond with fear to sudden movement or a marked change in level of sound or light because to do so has a survival value, so are many species, including man, disposed to respond to separation from a potentially caregiving figure and for the same reasons."